The Gift of Fear

Fear is not something we welcome with joy. It distorts vision, diminishes confidence, and obstructs our path towards a desired destination. In every way, fear helps in discouraging change to materialize for no move can be made for as long as fear remains.

 

But to me, when fear came, I decided to welcome it with a smile. Last Thursday, my officemate and I discussed about a project which was initially disapproved by the panel of evaluators but was later pushed for reconsideration after a letter of endorsement from a congresswoman was received by the office. The incident did not sit well with us. First, it stands as an insult to the expertise and the authority of the panel of evaluators. Second, it may be regarded as an attack to the very nature of the Commission as grants-giving institution. Lastly, we in the rank-and-file are placed in a difficult situation wherein we are asked (and at times, forced) to bend the rules to favor the demands of the powers-that-be. The last reason elicited fear.

 

The following day, I told my officemate that after our discussion, I found myself staring blankly for a couple of times thinking about the implications of the said incident. I felt afraid that a day would come wherein I’ll get involve in a similar incident. I’ll be asked to do something which I know is against the policy 1and would have serious implications. But then, my manifestation would not be given attention and a problem will arise in which I am to be blamed though I was the first to protest. I told her that such incident is likely to happen and I will not wait for that to take place so I will just quit my work to evade it.  Of course, she was surprised to learn of my decision.

 

Fear appeared as a gift. You see, fear, in this context, helped me to see the gravity and magnitude of the Commission’s flaws and the propensity for such flaws to fall and be blamed among the rank-and-file. Since I felt afraid of such possibility to take place, I admitted that I am seriously considering and will surely make haste attempts to get out of the Commission and transfer to my dream job. When I came in, I said that I will only stay for five years. But now, I told them that I might transfer before I reach my fourth year.

 

Apart from the fear of such possibility taking place, I found other reasons to arrive to such decision. I felt that being a member of the Secretariat is not congruent with my personality. I like to write papers in which I can input what I know and believe in, to be involved in decision-making, and stand as a respected expert of my chosen field. Being in the Secretariat does not give me the opportunity to do all these things because it favors my ability to facilitate and coordinate which are basically people skills. I go more for the thinking task and regard written outputs as accomplishments.

 

At this point, I’m developing strategies to effectively deal with my work despite my diminishing interest in it. I’m giving myself a year to prepare my application for my desired career.

 

Fear helped me to make a vision and in developing ways on how to achieve it. May fear do the same to you and bring you to fearless depths.

Happy Feet 2

Watched the movie yesterday with dear and we really enjoyed it. It was really funny to see the penguins dancing in unison especially the fluffy ones. The movie has great lessons to share and I would really recommend it for children to watch. The plot was simple yet it was meaningful.Different kinds of animal acting for one selfless purpose. Deviance and social conformity was presented in a balanced manner. How I wish to see humans uniting for a pur

Fluffy don’t float.

Mobile Phone Usage History

Yesterday, I went to my postpaid network provider to check if they have an available router for their broadband since I’m also availing of their internet service. I have always wanted to have a wifi connection at home since we have a laptop, a notebook, a desktop, and my iPod touch all sharing for one broadband connection. Unfortunately, they don’t have a stock and its availability is still indefinite.

To make the most out of the visit, I inquired as to the holding period of my postpaid line and my broadband connection. The staff said that my postpaid line is effective until January 26 of next year while my broadband connection is until December 2012. I asked if its possible to choose already the phone I want as replacement. To my surprise, the staff said that I may already choose and get it at that very hour. I didn’t expect that and that seems to be an early Christmas surprise.

I was not exactly overjoyed upon learning it. My initial reaction was to become troubled because I have three phones in my possession: Samsung Corby S3653, MyPhone QT7 Duo, and Samsung E222. The latter two are qwerty dual sim phones and I’m using both of them. Myphone has my office’s Smart prepaid sim while Samsung has my postpaid Sun sim and my prepaid Globe sim. I’m not using my Corby.

To settle the matter, I’ll be giving my Corby to my father once I have it altered to accept simcard of other networks. I will also give one of my qwerty phones to my sister once I have decided which is better to keep. I really don’t like to have a new phone since I don’t need a very savvy one considering that I also have an iPod touch and mobile phones, for me, would really be exclusive for communication.

*****

While I was tinkering on my new Samsung Corby II, I thought of documenting the history of my usage of mobile phones. I started having one in December 8, 2000 with a Nokia 3210. I was about to graduate elementary back then. My mother and I bought it from Greenhills with a smart zed simcard. I still remember the number but I won’t post it here. I used it until second year college and then replaced it with a Nokia 3120. When I was in third year college, I bought a Nokia 5070 which I used until I started working. Then, I got a postpaid line in January 2010, that’s when I got my Corby. Then I bought my first qwerty and dual sim phone MyPhone QTV20 Duo in December 2010 just because I like the idea of being able to watch TV while commuting.  It got lost around August or December of this year and that was the time I also bought my Samsung E222 and MyPhone QT7 Duo. Now, my latest phone is a Samsung Corbv II.

In a period of 11 years, I had 8 mobile phones already. I had bar phones, qwerty, dual sim, touch screen, and one with a wifi. I had 3 smart prepaid simcards, I guess I only had 1 globe prepaid simcard, and around 2 or 3 sun simcards. That’s as far as I can remember. At present, I’m keeping 3 simcards of the major networks placed in 3 phones.

 The point is not to exhibit affluence. Actually, having a mobile phone is a necessity and keeping more than one phone and having more than one simcard is quite common. But the idea really is to show how much e-waste a person contributes. Imagine I only had 8 but how about those that regularly avail of the latest in mobile phone technology. They are contributing more e-waste. It would be good to conduct a survey among mobile phone users to see the consumer behavior vis-a-vis the e-waste contribution. Policy measures can be enacted to address the growing volume of e-waste through the survey results. It would be better than enacting legislations on mobile phone services taxation.

 

Rondalla

Tuesdays and Fridays at 5pm are scheduled for our rondalla classes. We have two hours to practice playing different songs as an ensemble. As a late entrant to the course, I find it funny that my classmates don’t know the background of the songs they’ve been playing for quite some time. One notable example is the Hatikvoh which is actually the national anthem of Israel. I learned about this when I looked for a youtube video of the song because I want to know how the song goes so I can play it. To my surprise, all the search results pointed out that it is the Israeli national anthem.

At this time, we are practicing playing the song Tiritomba, an Italian song. For those assigned with the banduria like me, its very to difficult to play this song since the tempo is fast and the notes are hard to follow in the frets.

I hope that our teacher will soon teach us songs which are familiar to us. If not contemporary songs, those that we can sing or we’re familiar with the melody will do.

My colleagues in the section are also happy that I’m part of the rondalla course since I’m the only one in the room who’s part of it. I’m echoing to them our lessons so they also get to learn playing the banduria.

In one way, attending the rondalla classes help me to release the tensions I have with work. You see, we are currently in a transition in the use of a new framework in processing project proposals so its really stressful to adjust with the new framework. Listening, playing, and being part of a musical ensemble helps me a lot to relax.

My Appreciation for the Arts

Art is lived, and as such, it is needed.

Each day of our lives is filled with art. The problem is that the kind of arts we know are those that we associate with technology and the formal spaces where we can find them, do them, and experience them. This, however, is a rigid conception of a very fluid activity, experience, and expression.

The closest art to me is literature. It can be easily owned because it only needs playing with words. I text poetic verses that I compose and send to my friends. I make essays and speeches. That is how easy and close to my life literature is.

For the visual arts, my digital camera helped me to get involved with photography. I'm no professional but I enjoy taking photos because capturing meaningful events, people, and places is necessary for me.

Music and cinema are the art forms I enjoy experiencing rather than making. They are common forms of entertainment and if you are not a literary person, you are probably more inclined to listen to music or to watch a film.

The least art forms I appreciate are the performing arts of dance and theater. For sure, others would also state that the reason for this is because these are art forms that require real talent.

Into the Wild

Many great things can be said about this film – the story, the actors, and the visually appealing natural settings – but perhaps greater things can be said about the messages it want to communicate and the emotions it evoked among those who have seen it.

The idea of escaping the life you currently have and to run far away to live the way you want it is something I have always been thinking. It felt like the movie is telling me how to do it and why shouldn’t I do it. What Chris (or Alex) did was actually liberating and was indicative of the innate human capacity to live only with needs and in the absence of wants. However, it also reminds us that life was not meant to be lived alone but was meant to be shared.

It is painful to realize that he learned his lesson in his death.  But he did not simply died, he died without regretting what he went through. His pains were redeemed by his realization that happiness [is] real when shared.

Travel Lesson

Repost. SkyWalk. Cebu.

Our trip to Cebu made me realize never to rely on the people who arrange your travels. Always make it a point to check on every nitty-gritty detail even though you expect the person to do his/her job.

The saddest part of the trip is our failure to get on the Skywalk only because the person who arranged our trip failed to secure a free entry to the said facility. I will go back to Cebu and try it out. Of course by that time, it won't be free.

Bhutan

I was very happy to learn about the marriage of Bhutan’s King Jigme Wangchuk to his 21-year-old commoner wife, not out of fondness for royal weddings but out of the interest and scholarly attention we had when we were still studying about the country and the South Asian region.

My blockmates and I are equally fascinated with Bhutan and Nepal for these countries are not that familiar to most people. When Nepal’s royal family was murdered, Bhutan seemed to held a singular distinction to our fascination. Perhaps, Bhutan is well-known to us for its unique measure of development which is the Gross National Happiness.  Apart from this, its rich architectural heritage is an additional attraction. The country’s uniqueness and mysticism remain to be the reason why most of us still prefer to reside in Bhutan than any other South Asian country whenever our dear professor,  the late Dr. Mateo, would ask us.

I hope to visit this country when the opportunity comes.

Quarthought

The typhoons reminded me of the Geography of Poverty, a tag which we used to describe the Bangladesh economy vis-a-vis disasters. This is not to cite the adverse effects of the typhoon to the economy to strengthen the tag’s claim that underdevelopment can be explained by geography.  Rather, it is posited to serve as a call to rethink development strategies to be more grounded with reality.

Perhaps, there is a need to focus our attention to building the economic capabilities of some areas in the country that are less prone to disasters such as typhoons, earthquakes, and volcanic eruptions. We cannot simply rely on the regions that have been producing our food supply since we all have seen how prone they are to typhoons. We have to look  at how the regions in Mindanao can assume this role.

There’s also a need to define the development strategy for the disaster-prone areas on the East coast. Itinerant rains would make dependence on agriculture very hard. Road networks in these areas should also be of quality and should regularly be checked.

*****

I feel a bit troubled that the City Government of Pasay is lagging in its efforts to get hold of the reputation as the gateway to the country and as the transportation hub of Metro South. If they are doing something, then they are probably failing in communicating it to the public. But I am more inclined to believe the former.

The major thoroughfares are dirty. I know there’s nothing new about this but these thoroughfares are those that lead to and run through the airport. It will be one of those things that you’ll notice once you land in the Philippines and  for sure, nobody will like it.

If you’re a resident of any of the cities of the Metro South, you can’t help but pass through Pasay to get to the rest of the metropolis. If you’re going to commute, you won’t feel comfortable about it. The transportation network in the city is such a mess and a maze. If you go through Rotonda, you would know what I’m talking about. You have narrow sidewalks and footbridges with vendors on your way, tricycles pass through major thoroughfares, and terminals are located in places where they will obviously serve as obstructions.

The worst is when you are commuting to go to the airport. The only comfortable and fast means is through a cab and that works well if you are carrying a luggage. It seems that the city government is not devising a way to assist travelers who have to go to and from the airport. The MIAA has a shuttle loop as a response to the difficulty of commuting to and from the airport. The city should create a new route for jeepneys and other public transportation providers that will bring the passengers inside the airport premises. Yeah, sure, security issues should be considered but should not hinder city officials from doing this.

*****

I’m afraid that there will come a time that I will feel that my sector does little  to contribute to the upliftment of the social conditions of my people. This is not because of the nature of my sector nor the people who run it but because my academic training is geared towards responding to social ills. I hope that this will not affect the way I regard my present career but will only compel me towards moving to the career path that I have longed for.

*****

The concern for a more socially relevant contribution affects the direction I want to take after I earn my masters degree. I have laid out my choices for the next degree that I’ll pursue even though I am not sure if I’ll still have the passion to study (the passion to learn is different) to earn another degree. There is a conflict as to taking a multi-disciplinary path that is consistent with my undergraduate degree or to a more practical one. For now, these are just ideas. A decision is not yet necessary.

If Money Were No Object, I'll Pursue These Jobs

Grand Archaeology – Kolb-Consult 167

1. Architect

2. Lawyer

3. Archaeologist